Tales of the Virgil Pt. 1: Real, Live Crocodiles

Crocodile Mile

Crocodile Mile

I have a taxidermied mounted crocodile head (who doesn’t) set up where we shot the video. Usually it wears an old school Riddell Green Bay Packer helmet or my Elvis sunglasses and sits on top of a bookshelf in the corner. The day of the music video, we realized it could be an eye-catching, weird visual element to add, so we perched the crocodile head on top of my guitar amp. We decided to have Virgil hit it with drum sticks at one point, though I don’t believe that footage made the cut (see the full video here). But, the crocodile head isn't the star of this story, it's the conversation that it inspired. In between filming shots Virgil turned to me and said:

“You guys need to do crazy shit when you play live. You need to blow people’s minds. You should get a real live crocodile and have it come out on stage right when you’re jamming.”

Virgil did some air guitar, actually more air bass to really drive the point home at this juncture. I readily agreed with these suggestions not because I agreed but just to see what would happen next if I pulled the string.

“I’ve been in show business for thirty years. You gotta blow people’s minds!” Virgil continued. “But, you should probably keep that crocodile in a cage because you wouldn’t want it biting anybody. You know, that’d cost a lot, there’d be a lot of legal fees.”

Shit, it’s craziest enough to work. Anybody have any live crocodiles out there I can borrow?

The Official Music Video for "Kayfabe" ft. WWE WWF Legend Virgil Has Been Released!

Ladies and gentlemen! Now is the time, the time is now. Sit back, get comfy, turn your speakers all the way up, and enjoy the official music video to MaxXouT's song "Kayfabe", starring WWF/WWE wrestling superstar Virgil! https://youtu.be/Cb0bZ3amQdU. Come back here for more tales about working with Virgil, including that one where he suggested we should hire a live crocodile to be in our band, but to make sure to keep him in a cage just in case he bit anybody because of, you know, the legal fees and all!


Russians Love to Maxx Out!

Roll down your window in Moscow right now and you’d hear the howl of one Mr. Elliot, coming all the way from the Motor City to assail the ear buds of our Kremlin-based comrades. See, they don’t give a hoot about who won in Rocky IV or in Red Dawn, and you wanna know why? Those wodka-pounding bears know how to download hard rock muzack! Hey man, these Cold War era nuclear warheads aren’t going to dust themselves, our Russian friends need some tune-age to get motivated to get the work done! And, as we are finding out, them Russians like themselves some MaxXouT. Currently, I have been able to monitor the tracker sites that report total number of downloads, and we are standing at 876 downloads of The Big Push, now freshly out for what, the fifth or sixth day? As I’ve reported before, those Russian torrent sites had The Big Push out and seeding before iTunes was able to post our album. If the next cold war is fought on the band stage, brother, I’m punching my ticket to the Bering Strait. Oh, and check this out from my homie Vlad Putin’s twitter feed:

Vlad taking it to the maxx!

Vlad taking it to the maxx!

And the proof is in the Russian pudding, or millet, or whatever they eat over there:

Illegal Russian Torrent Site Reviews Our New Album

You guys familiar with rutracker.org? We weren’t either, but apparently they’re familiar with our album. In fact, if you wanted to, you can download a Russian bit torrent of our album right now, right here . Which, you know, cool—I don’t think our album was going to be doing gangbusters on the Putin Top 200 anytime soon anyway. But, just think, there’s some Russian guy (or gal) out there, jamming out to Kayfabe or Narcan Atomizer, head-banging their fur hats right off and right into a pot of some steamy fresh borscht.

It probably isn’t fair that I think everyone in Russia looks and sounds just like Zangief or Ivan Drago, but that’s what American popular culture from my childhood told me. So, I imagine a growly voice from a bearded, ‘roided out man half in the bag from some wodka and a little light-headed from wrestling mutated Chernobyl werewolves narrating the following review which we’ve pushed through the google translator:

“Still in the establishment of full-fledged rock band has original, intelligent design. 4-5 people playing together, creating a microcosm, a little universe, where there is space, a collision of polar opinions, development. Van-man-bands and the-man-bands (as in this case), so the potential is most often do not have their grandiose plans sooner or later (and here - right) run into a deficit of ideas. And so it happened at Maxxout. Well, pokorpeli, ponazapisyvali, thought it was steep - on his website even called themselves "the best hard-rock band of the last decade." And that, really? Amateur about kuhonnnogo-level.
The PS Many thanks for the introduction. The enemies need to know in person.”

I think it’s saying it’s a good album but too ambitious maybe? They definitely didn’t like the tagline joke we have on this here website: “the debut Album from MaxXouT the greatest hard rock band in ten years!” I swear, it’s a joke! We know we’re the fourth greatest hard rock band in ten years! And I don’t know what a van-man-band is, but holy shit, I hope I get to be in a van-man-band someday--that sounds bad ass.

I do have to say that last line is a little chilling: “The enemies need to know in person”.  What the hell does that mean? Who is the enemy? Is it us? Should I stop typing now? Is that a knock I hear at the door? 

Virgil, Pro Wrestling Superstar

It was 9 am when the circus came to town. Our video shoot was at 10, so I was running around taking care of the last minute minutia to make sure everything would go smoothly.  I heard a knock on my door, and I just swung it open thinking it was Elliot, coming over a little early to drink coffee and cut promos about life, like he usually does (Elliot has a tendency to work heel in life and in promo cutting). But, it wasn't Elliot at the door. Nor was it a vacuum salesman, a true believer, someone trying to get me to sign some petition, or a kid vandalizing my retaining wall. I've encountered all of those characters darkening my doorstep at some point or another so none of those would've surprised me. This time I was surprised, however. This time it was the man who would star in our smash hit music video for Kayfabe: Virgil. 

"Gorilla Monsoon always told me to show up an hour early because in show business, plans change", was the first thing Virgil said to me while standing on my doorstep. As a kid who grew up listening to Gorilla and the Brain call the spots, this opening salvo was really surreal to me. How would it be to get advice from Gorilla Monsoon? I guess, if it was you, you probably would hold onto it for 30 years too.

Virgil and I had been on the horn a week earlier, setting everything up, but he had called me from Canada and there was a lot of distortion on the line. I was hoping he could hear me better than I could hear him. It sounded like a windstorm at a Timmy Ho's on the other end of the line, but I went ahead and gave out my address, phone, etc., to set up the deal. As I was talking I was making bullet points in my brain about what could go specifically wrong and what could be a workaround if it did. The only wasted effort was that. Virgil was an hour early, and before he was 5 steps into my house he was telling me stories about Andre the Giant that would make Rowdy Roddy Piper blush. Life can be pretty demented sometimes. 

I have some more good stories to tell, but I should say Virgil was a total pro. He put himself into the project, gave out some great advice, and was game for everything we wanted to try. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon gave him some advice about that stuff too. If so, I guess, if it was you, you'd probably would hold onto it for 30 years too. 

The Songs Have All Been Recorded!!

So we've recorded the music produced the tracks and now all we need to do is set a release date, so awesome.  It was a long and hard trip spanning over a year and a half, but Stosh and I are till friends and the new songs are outstanding.  After you listen the full album you will never want to listen to anything else in your entire life.  Your only question will be when will you be releasing mindblowing music videos on the youtube?  The answer to that question is soon.